Do you remember this song from the 1980's? At this point, some of my readers only know it as an "oldie" and others thought it was "too loud" for their ears! But many of my readers, being my peers, grew up on songs like this, and immediately can hear the guitars and synths and vocals blending in the pop rock melody.
I saw a post on Facebook about when a couple knew that "this was the one." I thought that this was a good question. There are many times we get into relationships in life, and we dream or fantasize about this person and how happy we will surely be when we are together.
A common story is of high school sweethearts, who thought they were in love, and before too long (or maybe it was too long) they break up. Their affections were based more on dreams, and less upon shared priorities and visions of their shared life. Or perhaps they never discussed the hard issues such as spending patterns, or how to raise their children, or whether relocating away from home was going to be good or bad.
Driving home from Bible study this evening, I was thinking some more about how people in the Bible met. We all know the story of Adam and Eve, right? The text says that God knew that Adam, the first person, needed a suitable companion. After a "show-and-tell" of all the animals, and Adam recognizing that there was no beast that was suitable, God put Adam under sedation (a "deep sleep") and removed one of Adam's ribs. God transformed this rib, taken from Adam's side, into Eve, a complementary and compatible partner for Adam. Different biological designs for different biological functions, and different psychology in support of those different roles. And yet, they were made to be partners, co-helpers, and friends. Can you imagine Adam ever saying, "God, this woman you gave me? Are you sure she's the best mate available for me?" God's perfect plan and power made them ideal for each other, and any conflicts wasn't that of culture or background, but of selfishness and sinfulness.
Another time, a rich tribal leader decided that his son needed a wife. (Did the son have any say in the matter? Perhaps he went to his father first, but the text doesn't say.) Recognizing that all of the available women in the nearby communities had cultural values that were too different from the ones in their tribe, this father sent a servant on a mission, and with detailed instructions describing how to recognize the proper woman! This father trusted that God would provide, and that the woman who was acting according to the description would be the one chosen by God to be his son's wife. The servant, whether in disbelief or in full confidence in his instructions, went to the distant homeland, where a woman was acting exactly as the father's descriptions said. It took a little persuasion and several days,but before too long the servant and the woman were on the long journey back to the tents and herds of wealthy Abraham. Thus, Isaac was presented with his wife, Rebecca, through God's direct intervention. (It wasn't a perfect marriage, but that's more their fault than anything else.)
So, what's my answer to the question? How did I know? Well, the story is still being told, but the first act of our life-play is near its resolution. It took two years of constant online communications, and a series of plans broken by the pandemic, and then almost a day of travel to finally meet! And then another 10 hours of travel to our destination. By law, we're engaged, at the end of the too-short visit. But like ancient cultures, we vowed before God to be husband and wife, and that's the commitment that really matters. Sure, the fees have to be paid, the papers have to be filed, licenses and documentations all properly completed. As Paul said, "Pay to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's." Do what is required by the overseeing governments, as they're empowered by God. But, marriage isn't a secular thing to be regulated by the government, it's properly speaking a covenant between a man and a woman, in God's sight and with God's oversight. Marriage is more about the two souls, and their Creator; it's spiritual with an emotional and physical component; it's less about property and inheritance and beneficiaries and so-called "legal rights." Without God, the idea of "marriage" really has little meaning. We vow, "What God has put together, let no person interfere or tear apart." Marriage involves God, and the secular authorities are ultimately in a secondary role.
Wow, this went a little different than what I first contemplated, when thinking about that Facebook question! Tell me what you think. Your comments will be moderated, and I'll reply when appropriate. You can also comment to the Facebook version of this essay.
I look forward to hearing from you! I am trying to blog weekly from now on. If there's an idea, a news event, something in culture or current events or history, that you think I should write about, send me a message. I need your suggestions and feedback!
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